~ Help For A Fussy Baby ~

"I have 6 1/2 weeks b/g twins and my boy has been alittle stinker. He cries and cries anytime he is awake. The only thing that will settle him down usually is me nursing him. I feel like I nurse him all day sometimes. He will not take a pacifier like my daughter does, so I don't know how else to calm him down. I have had some people tell me that he may not be getting full enough and that maybe I should supplement, but he is gaining weight like crazy...alot faster then his sister! Another thing that I found that calms him down is a bath...he loves his baths! So, I don't know if he has gas and that helps him calm down or if he is starving and wants food.... Can anyone give me suggestions? Please?????"

Growth spurt

"At 6 1/2 weeks your [son] could be going through a growth spurt - so indulge him with the nursing as much as possible so your supply can catch up with his demand. Like you said, he's gaining weight - so no need to supplement. (If I had a dime for everyone who suggested my babies were hungry every time they cried (I'm nursing also)...I'd be vacationing in Maui right now!)."

Gas relief

"If its gas, try laying him on his back and ever so gently bring his knees up to his chest. it may help expell any gas bubbles in his little belly."

"Since you are unsure if he has gas or tummy discomfort you might try the mylicon drops for infants and see if they have any affect. These worked well with one of my little ones in those early weeks."

"If [the baby] is having any kind of stomach upset, being propped up in the seat will help, as might some crushed peppermint dissolved in water. My little girl was much like yours, but I could tell her tummy hurt. The peppermint water helped her (and she would pass more gas afterwards)."

Hunger

"since he is gaining weight at a good rate, he probably isn't hungry."

"I agree with you that his weight gain is an indication that he's getting the nutrition he needs."

Dietary issues

"Have you considerred the possibility that he has a sensitivity to something in your milk (something that you're eating)? It might be beneficial to speak with a lactation consultant if there is one in your area."

"If he's uncomfortable & gassy - it could be something you're eating that's bothering him - try cutting dairy and chocolate out of your diet for a week and see if that makes a difference (once you've ruled out a growth spurt, that is!)."

Consult with your pediatrician

"In your shoes, I might also make an appointment with my pediatrician to have him seen and discuss the situation with his doctor. One of my little ones was far more demanding in the beginning. At around 7 weeks she developed a fever and I took her in to be checked. The poor little darling had a bladder infection. According to my ped, she'd likely had the discomfort for several weeks before the fever began. And, once the infection was being treated she was an entirely different baby. In having him checked, some possible sources of discomfort could be ruled out."

"You might want to visit the pediatrician to rule out other causes like reflux or food allergy (passed on through your milk)."

Colic

"My sister ... had a girl ... this February, and she sounds a lot like your [son]. It turned out that [she] was colicky, and the only thing she loved was nursing, swinging in the swing, and listening to the vaccuum cleaner. It was hell on [my sister] but she's almost through it now. Another thing that helped was a CD that her Pediatric nurse recommended that had all of those mindless white noise sounds on it, e.g. vaccuum cleaner, a bathtub filling with water. ... (The CD is called "Grandma's Fussbuster CD" and you can get it at www.cryingbaby.com.)"

"It sounds like your son may have colic. My singleton daughter also cried whenever she was awake, except for feedings. It typically starts right around the age your son is now...If it is colic, it should improve or totally disappear around 3-4 months of age. There is an end in sight!"

For more tips on colic, see the colic advice section.

High Maintenance Baby

"After getting four past that age, and also nursing all of them, I can tell you that probably what you've got is just a high-maintenance little guy!! If he's gaining well and has periods where he is relaxed and attentive, no matter how short, there's nothing amiss. I have had 3 boys that 1) tended to be very fussy as young infants, all day long, esp. during dinnertime thru bedtime 2) didn't requite alot of sleep (who actually HAS babies that eventually sleep 12 hours at a time? Never had a one!) and 3) required ALOT of adult interaction and was irritable when not received. It was as if they were an bottomless pit of baby. I need MORE!! Of what, sometimes, I was not sure."

Table of Contents

~ Multiple Infants & Crying ~

Probably one of the most stressful times in a home with multiple newborns is when all the babies are crying at once.

Dealing with the stress of crying infants is not easy.

"The same rules don't apply to you, with two babies, as to a first-time mother of one baby. Rushing to stop a baby crying instantly, as proof of your love... you need more arms."

"I guess you have to learn to [not let it get to you] the best you can, but I know from experience, that the more tired you are, the more it bothers you."

"The crying of two babies reallly wore on us, as well. The worst was the early evening and night crying. I think you do eventually develop a partial tolerance [to the stress], but it's still very stressful (evidence: my [recent post]complaint about sympathy crying of 20-month toddlers! :-) )"

"This is a difficult time. Make people help you. Someone bring you in food would be great"

There is hope!

"I guess what I'm trying to say is - you just do it! If they cry, they cry and you can't always be there. It's ok - we've all been through it - your babies are quite resilient. Their cries tear your heart out, but they will learn to be patient (eventually!) Hang in there, do your best and love them like crazy - it's all you can do somtimes!"

"Hang in there - you are at one of the worst times but it won't be a whole lot longer and you will feel much better and the babies will be much more fun."

"Actually at 6-7 months we suddenly noticed that caring for the babies was SO MUCH EASIER. Now, [at 10 months] it doesn't seem like a big deal at all. They get on such a nice routine with longer times between meals, regular naps, etc. But those first few months are truly hellish and you don't even realize how bad it is until you are out of it. Just do whatever you can possibly do to get any extra sleep and cherish the notion that this period will end before you go insane!"

"The main thing I do remember [from when my twins were infants] is that there were times that both babies cried and I cried too. At the time it was terrible, two years later I don't see any ill effects :)))

Many babies have regular times of fussiness

"I feel for you!! Unfortunately, I'm not aware of anything you can do to get the babies to stop crying when they are both going at it at the same time. Mine have a fussy period from about 6 or 7 until bedtime around 9 or 10 which is the time that I'm getting dinner and then getting my older two bathed and into bed... then I have to make the formula for the night and next morning."

"We had the fussy periods too. If I remember correctly [twin A] was worse than [twin B]. I joke now and said that if I only had [twin B] I would have had 10 more just like him but if it was just [twin A] he would be an only child. Even now at the age of 5 he is still my high maintenance child. He is much more of a whiner then [twin B]. All I can say to this is this too shall pass. Hang tough you can do it."

"Don't despair. Babies in general get fussy and cry alot from around 3 weeks till about 10-12 weeks... When their nervous systems mature a bit and their sleep cycles get organized alot of the crying will slow down, almost overnight."

Soothers for when one baby has to wait

"I did get the musical toy that you attach to the crib that runs by remote and that amuses [one of my sons]... but [the other son], unless you walk the floor with him, won't shut up.... he even cries real tears, which break my heart."

"I'm convinced I have a hearing loss from dealing with 2 crying babies those early weeks. I made heavy use of the swing which seemed to help. I had some times where all 3 of us were in tears also. When they were inconsolable, I would put them both on my nursing pillow and either nurse them (if you're bottle feeding you can still get a 'nursing pillow', put them in any nursing hold and just hold the 2 bottles) or put them on their stomachs and pat them on the back. I also learned and did baby massage (there are books available) which did phenomenal things to relax my one colicky very tight (high toned) kid. Ironically, this kid is now the more coordinated very athletic one and the mellower of the two."

"Do you have a vibrating bouncy seat? Your little girl might do better sleeping more upright in it. ... Mine slept in theirs until the were about 3 months or so."

"When your babies are older, you will probably want the johnny jump ups. You attach them over the door facing and the babies can jump around in them. My two love them. Once they could sit up well and had some leg strength, I got rid of the swings and bouncy seats and started using them. Prior to that, they started in walkers (my house doesn't have any steps or threshholds inside so they are safe). They still love their walkers which I bought used."

"The other good buy I recently found was a combination tape recorder/night light that mounts on the crib. We play a lullaby tape every night at bedtime. The tape and light (I just use the tape) has a 10 min timer. They are always asleep before the tape shuts off."

"I have started using music tapes in the morning with the babies (and [my older daughter] as well) and we all like that also. It makes the morning more relaxed. They listen as we feed them breakfast and change their clothes. We have several (some of which we found at Goodwill for 99 cents) and really like Chicken Soup for the Soul tapes for kids (K-mart here carries them as do fine toy stores). The music on them is such that adults can enjoy and they have a theme message (like self-respect, etc.). Won't be long and you can start music with the babes (music is very good for brain development during their first year)."

"If you want a single [baby] carrier, people have commented on really liking the baby bjorn ones. I have a twin carrier which can be used for both babies or worn individually, but we never did use it. My mom has used the baby slings and both babies loved them. When they are little like yours, the baby lies in it with head up by adult's shoulder and is cuddle inside. When they get bigger there are a variety of ways to carry them (straddling your hip etc.). My mom has had back surgery and she can't do back packs or front packs without pain but swears by the slings. You can get them at a variety of stores, including Babies R Us, Walmart, etc. I would recommend getting one of them or of a front carrier."

Tips to eliminate crying during feeding times

"In terms of feeding the babies: when I was alone with them, I put them in carseats on either end of the couch. I sat between them and held their bottles. This worked well for me and my husband. I know it's not as personal as being able to hold each, but our daughters were so much happier when they didn't have to wait for bottles. It also cut down on the hungry crying quite a bit. Plus, it saves time, which is at a premium when you have twins."

"I can remember those days. I would sit the boys in their car seats on the floor (or infant seats) and sit between them and feed them. ... They did cry a little when I had to stop to burp one but other than that they were fine."

Separate the babies if their cries are keeping each other fussy

"You don't have to keep the babies together in the same room (I didn't when they were the age of yours because they were lighter sleepers and triggered one another - they do sleep soundly in same nursery now at nearly 10 months). If [one] will sleep well, put [her] in nursery and take [the other] girl with you in little seat."

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